Sunday

"This short guy is very strong".  So said  pastor James Haruun as he introduced me as the preacher at church this morning (I was ready for him this time).  Quite what he was basing this bold assertion on I'm not so sure, but it was certainly good to be back in Gasmalla and reunited with some more old friends.

Following our ten mile round trip walk to/from church I got the chance to spend some time indulging what is probably one of my favourite Sudanses pastimes: lying on a bed under a tree dosing in the afternoon sun.  It doesnt get much better than that...Indeed, some of my former teamates here have been known to speculate that I spent more time under a tree than I did doing any work.  Which is of course not true.

Anyway, that is all for today.  But before I go let me pose a question.  As a missionary, is it better to live life as much as possible in the same way as the  people you are among, trying to become like them so that you can relate to them better, or should we be showin them the way to develop their circumstances by setting a higher standard?  I used to be well and truly in the former category.  Now I'm not so sure.

Until next time, my friends...

Welcome Back

Today I did something I have never done before - walked through a refugee camp.  Then played volleyball in said refugee camp, using a combination of height advantage and goalkeeping prowess to help my team of missionaries to second place in a tournament we (I say we, I didnt really do much) had organised.  The term 'refugee camp has always conjoured up a particular image in my mind however (unsurprisingly) the reality was somewhat different.  It's kinda like a large village full of UNHCR standard issue tents.  I say a large village, a large village of several tens of thousands of people (I've yet to hear the same number quoted twice, what is certain is that it is a lot of people) where there were none before. It really is a dire situation, although I and my team-mates  were struck by the fact that almost everyone we saw was still smiling.  These people have a lot to teach us.

We arrived in Doro on Thursday afternoon, after a fairly lengthy journey.  Being back after being away for so long is a strange experience, a mixture of feeling like I was never away and being hit in the face by the start changes that have taken place since I left.

One thing that has not disappointed has been the chance to be reunited with my Sudanese friends.  It has been worth the journey just for that.  Already I have had more (semi-awkward) embraces from two me old enough to be my grandfather, simultaneously lamenting the fact that I am only here for a short time.  That coupled with the chance to catch up with my close friends as been the highlight of my week.  I've made a lot of promises to go and visit people that I may well struggle to keep!

Anyway, for now I must go, as someone is waiting to use the computer.  But rest assured I shall keep you posted with whats going on here, hopefully with some more profound insight than I have been able to offer here. 

However, in time honoured fashion I shall leave you with a sobering story.  Of the many good friends I left behind back in 2010, at least three have taken second wives.  This saddens me greatly as, for a Christian (which these guys are), this is the Sudanese equivalent of...well, something pretty bad (I'm not sure what comparison to draw).  Some of the guys in question were, to my mind, the least likely to go down this road however temptation has taken it;s toll.  Whch brings me back to my intial observation that I was quick to recount to anyone who would listen when I got home in September 2010.  Where are the people teaching the young men of this tribe to live as diciples of Jesus.  I'll tell you where they're not....here.

Back, by Popular Demand

So, I'm at the beginning of another (short) African adventure, and I've decided to resurrect my blog.  We (Ben, Colin & I) arrived in Kenya on Sunday afternoon, and I was reunited with a lot of my old colleagues and team-mates on Monday morning.  It was a heartwarmingly warm welcome!

A particular highlight has been the chance to spend time with an old friend who I thought I would never see again. We last saw wach other on the airstrip in Doro back in September 2010

For those of you who don't already know, we are heading out to Doro for a couple of weeks (all that annual leave would permit) to help out on a housing project there.  We fly out from Nairobi early on Thursday and will arrive in Doro that afternoon.

Since arriving in Kenya and hearing from the other SIM people I have been struck by just how much different Doro is now to when I left.  Back in 2010 it was a small village of a few thousand people in the middle of the Sudanese bush.  Now (apparently) it is the site of a major relief operation, with tens of thousands of refugees on the doorstep of the village.  I cant get my head round what it is going to look like...

The more I think about this, the more aprehensive I become about going back in.  It's kind of like it'd be better going in completely blind than going in thinking you know what a place is like, when in fact you have no idea.  The one thing that outweighs that apprehension is the anticipation of more heartwarming reunions with friends (both former team-mates and Sudanese alike) which is, after all, what it is all about.

So doubtless, once I'm back in Doro, I'll have plenty of interesting experience to tell you about, and I'll attempt to do so with my customary mixture of humour and harsh reality.   Which gives you all something to look forward to...

My Apologies...

Apprently someone has been using my blog to scam people out of money. Please be assured this is not genuine and is not me.

I do not have an appartment to let in Brooklyn...

Sorry for any inconvenience, I've reported it to 'Blogger'

I had the time of my life...

Unlike last time, when a day off and a packet of drugs was enough to have me back fighting fit, this dose of malaria (despite my lack of medical knowledge I have decided that is definately what I had) was deeply unpleasant. I tried to fight it for a few days, you know the kind of thing, power through, keep working (at heights, despite the dizziness) but all this succeeded in doing was making things worse. To the extent that I spent the majority of my last day in Sudan lying under a tree feeling like crap.

We did have a visit from a plane that day, and as one of our number was flying off to the bright lights of Malakal I dragged myself out to say goodbye:


Now I know, my face bears a look somewhere between disgust and disdain, but I can assure you it was more just discomfort (mixed with a little disdain..towards whatever happened to be annoying me most at the time). On the way home, a journey that takes all of 5 minutes on foot, some of the local kids took pity on me and held my hand. On another day this might have been heartwarming but not today. All I could think was "If you give me some crazy tropical disease I'm coming back for you..."

Fortunately, I was able to make a bit of a recovery before I left. Even by the end of that day I was feeling strong enough to kill a chicken, a gift I'd recieved the previous day which we enjoyed for my farewell meal, an occasion followed by the chance for each member of our team here to say somehting nice about me. History has never known a longer or more awkward silence...

I'm kidding of course, everyone had something nice to say, and this time the heartwarming intentions worked a treat. There were even some tears, but not from me...I am a man after all...

And so, my friends, that's it. At 9am on Friday morning a plane arrived to whisk me away to Kenya for the last time, and it was all over.

I really did have the time of my life, for the most part. And I learned a good few valuable lessons..

I learned that managing a building project in Southern Sudan is far from a walk in the park, and leave with a strong sense of having unfinished business. This is probably mostly due to the fact that I do have unfinished business, with the new clinic building being in a state that is some way from readiness.

I learned that no matter how worthwhile the building project may be, it is not nearly as worthwhile as investing in the people in Mabaan county, and sharing the love and truth of Jesus with them. Probably my biggest regret is not being able to do that more. Whilst my biggest satisfaction comes from being able to a little bit...

I learned that no matter how hard I tried, and wanted, I could not become like one of them. it's impossible. I was routinely ashamed of how much stuff I had, and my life was all packed into a rucksack. Cant imagine how ashamed I'd be if they came to visit me in Scotland.

I learned that when people are struggling to survive the line between right and wrong becomes complicated. I repeatedly came up against things I would previously have said were wrong but when you understand where they were coming from you kinda understand. I'm glad God has perfect wisdom in arbitrating these things. I certainly don't...

I'm sure in time there will be a lot more to add to that list, but you'll have to ask me about that yourself, because you wont find it here. With my departure from Africa this evening I'm intending to mark the end of my blog. And so, my friends, until my next African adventure this is goodbye. May God bless you all...

Happy Days...

Day 224 (of 228 in Sudan)...stupid malaria again. Great...

Maybe thats why my post yesterday was so lacking in positive outlook. A fact noted with some frustration by some of my American colleagues here. With their sunny dispositions...

Legacy...

And so it would seem my lasting legacy in Doro is to be represented by two things, at least in the eyes of my fellow missionaries here. First, a new dog proof fence for our compound:


My efforts concerning which bought me endless grace in my lack of pulling my weight in other more mundane chores.

Secondly, after over two years of functioning, the Doro clinic now (almost) has some toilets. I've been actively involved in this process from start (finding people to dig the holes - 4 m down in case you are interested) to finish, providing whatever expertise I deemed appropriate. Unfortunately, I didnt really know what I was doing...


On the day when we were preparing to pour the concrete for the floor, I was somewhat alarmed by the space left for the holes by Peter, our now lone Kenyan builder. When I suggested he make them a little bigger he duly obliged before letting me in on a national secret: "You know Kevin, in Kenya we are fearing to make the holes big because children fall into them" Can you imagine anything worse...? I don't think I can. Didnt stop me getting him to make them bigger though.

As for my legacy in the eyes of the Sudanese, that is somewhat more difficult to judge. I hope I've achieved more than just making them think I'm a nice guy...failing that I hope I've just made them think I'm a nice guy...

In other, equally fascinating, developments, I have made the fifth and final move of my time at Doro to the most basic abode yet, a grass house:


Or 'Kurnuk' as they are called here. I never thought I would view living in a mud hut as a luxury. This move is part of an overall effort by some of the team here to connect with the local community more effectively, a move which I wholeheartedly support. Or at least, I did wholeheartedly support until I got woken up at 7:30 this morning by a friend who was looking for some keys..."Hey Kevin, are you asleep?" Not any more.

That being said, there are positive aspects to living a bit more basically, not least the reduction in the shame I feel when I have Sudanese people in my house. Even the (relatively) little I brought out here with me now feels ludicrously extravagant. Lesson duly learned.

My time here is now painfully short, with a mere 4 days remaining. This is a fact that I am not savouring. And I'm trying to figure out just how exactly to 'end well'. I'm beginning to wonder if I should just tell people I'm going to be back sometime soon so they aren't too indignant with me. Actually, forget 'beginning to wonder', I've already done that with several people. Maybe now I'll have to make good my claim...